My Dearest Hadile

My Hadile, this is the story of how you became my entire world without me even realizing it was happening.

What I feel for you is so deep and intense that it makes me understand why people spend their whole lives searching for that feeling.

Long before we met in December, I had already fallen for you Hadile. There was something about our conversations that reached past the screen and settled somewhere deep in my chest. I'd catch myself thinking about you during random moments like waiting in line, driving, lying awake at night. The more we talked, the more you felt like someone I'd known forever, like my heart recognized you before my mind could catch up.

After a couple of months of a lot of yaps, like yous, hug yous, kiss yous, and trying not to admit what my heart already knew… I land in Lebanon. And from that moment, the only thing I could think about was seeing you. Then I finally did, and from that moment every part of me wanted you and knew that you were it.

The woman I want to spend the rest of my time in this life with.

Finding you while not even looking for you, makes me believe in God's plan even more and that whatever is destined for you, whether you're willingly looking for it or not, will come to you.

Then I was able to admit that I was beyond in love with you, my sweetest Hadile. And that feeling keeps getting more intense and stronger by the day. I remember you once mentioned that sometimes you wonder if we're at the peak of loving each other. But I'm quite astonished by how I feel for you more, day after day after day.

Getting to see what kind of woman you are throughout the past couple of months has left me in admiration. Your willingness to go after the things you want. Your determination to prove yourself and get to whatever your heart truly desires. How you keep going and think everything you do is not enough, even when you go above and beyond in everything you touch. I have no doubt in my heart that you will get to the highest levels of success you desire.

And I have to say: I love how similar our values are. Our qualities. Our expectations of ourselves. You push me to be a better person in every aspect of my life, and I love you even more for that.

I love how kind you are to the people around you in your day-to-day interactions. That's something I noticed when we first started talking. Your acts when no one is watching, the smallest examples I can mention, like buying that one khotyar guy carrots while leaving the hospital, or giving Bassam juice — go to show what kind of woman you are.

An impeccable woman, indeed.

If you could see yourself from my eyes, only then would you truly see how special you are.

Ever since moving to the States, I have adapted to living life alone and dealing with life on my own. I found enjoyment in doing my day-to-day tasks alone. It takes a certain mentality to do so, and I believed anything right now would be a distraction and I didn't want distractions. I truly started enjoying my own company. Until I met you, Hadile. I started enjoying your company more than the company I've spent the last couple of years with, my own. If I try to look back to the time before you, life seems to be so mundane.

You bring light to my life in ways I can't explain. My heart sings when it feels you and knows you're mine. My brain goes off just by the idea of you existing, and knowing that one day it'll get to enjoy your company on a day-to-day basis.

Although I believe in myself and have managed to be there for myself for the past couple of years, having your support and love exponentially adds to everything I have.

You told me the other day that you would want to see me achieve the world, little do you know that I already have it, my one and only Hadile Ghaddar.

Thank you for unknowingly making me a better person and showing me what true love feels like. The love I thought only existed in movies, the kind I thought people were just pretending to have.

I don't know what the future holds, but I know who I want to hold through it all. Every version of my tomorrow has you in it, Hadile. That's not a hope, it's a certainty that lives within me. And if I had to live this life all over again, I would find my way to you.

Every. Single. Time.